If you're not on Twitter, you're frankly missing out.

Listen, before I joined Twitter, I was skeptical. In fact I had the attitude of many "What can be said that's of any importance in 140 characters or less". Well frankly I've been completely converted, and days like today are why. Twitter is great for 2 things:

News - links, trade deadline coverage, and news. James Mirtle, The Fourth Period and a whole bunch of people were essential at the trade deadline and July 1 last year. News spreads like wildfire with all the Re-Tweeting (copying essentially). It's pretty awesome.

But even more importantly

Jokes - It helps that the Hockey community is easily the best in all of sports. Some of the wittiest, and frankly most dedicated, fans are on Twitter. And when a joke meme breaks out, the consequences are often hilarious.

Two weeks ago, in anticipation of the Maple Leafs - Canucks showdown, some Leafs fans started the "Kyle Wellwood is so Fat" meme on twitter which turned into a day of Kyle Wellwood fat jokes. Not coincidentally it was one of the funnest days ever.

Today in Puck Daddy's Live rumors chat a joke theme developed called "Unpublished NHL Books" which spilled over onto Twitter with hilarious results. (called #unpublishedNHLBooks on twitter. the # makes it a trending topic with it's own category on Twitter for those who don't know).

And to show you what you're missing, here's some choice selections, and my own entries into the joke brigades:

From today's #unpublishedNHLbooks

My favorites from other people:

RT @ryanclassic "If I Did It" by Todd Bertuzzi #unpublishedNHLbooks

RT @BDGallof: Catcher In The Eye by Bryan Berard #unpublishedNHLbooks

RT @BDGallof All Quiet on the Western Front by the San Jose Sharks #unpublishedNHLbooks

RT @DHSpeedwagon Grapes Of Wrath, By Don Cherry #unpublishedNHLbooks

RT @Kidkawartha Fear and Loathing of Las Vegas by the Phoenix Coyotes #unpublishedNHLbooks

@MrsOtW "How to avoid the Stanley Cup" by Marian Hossa #unpublishedNHLbooks

RT @bruce_arthur "The Great Fatsby" By Kyle Wellwood #unpublishedNHLbooks

RT @
mlse Common Sense by Mike Milbury #unpublishedNHLbooks http://tinyurl.com/yk694gs

And here's some of my entries:

"Ow 2 ren a NHL tem" By Jaques Demairs #unpublishedNHLbooks

"On the shoulders of Giants: How how one mediocre goaltender entered the Hockey Hall of Fame debate" by Chris Osgood #unpublishedNHLbooks

"Kevin Lowe is a big fat idiot" by Brian Burke #unpublishedNHLbooks

"Not in the Face" By Tommy Salo #unpublishedNHLbooks

"Legends of the Fall" by the San Jose Sharks #unpublishedNHLbooks

"Who moved my cheese?" by Kyle Wellwood #unpublishedNHLbooks

"Last of the Nordiqu-ans" By Adam Foote and Owen Nolan #unpublishedNHLbooks

"The Old man and the C" by Adam Foote #unpublishedNHLbooks

And of course, the king of the internet, Down Goes Brown, had some awesome entries.

"Glow Pucks & 10-Cent Beer", by the Bleacher Report. #unpublishedNHLbooks

The Kama Sutter #unpublishedNHLbooks

Slaughterhouse e5 #unpublishedNHLbooks

This was all brought about by the first Widespread hockey, twitter trending theme:


Here's my favorites from others:

RT @voteforgrant #KyleWellwoodIsSoFat that you need to buy a bus ticket to deke him.

RT @ianthealy #KyleWellwoodIsSoFat that for him, a two-line pass means cutting in front of everyone to the register at Burger King

RT @voteforgrant #KyleWellwoodIsSoFat that all his games have to be broadcast on two networks at a time.

As usual, the hilarious Down Goes Brown has the funniest:

RT @DownGoesBrown #KyleWellwoodIsSoFat that after a recent Canuck road game against the Avs, Denver is now known as the Half-Mile High City.

And here's some of my favorite entries by yours truly:

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat When a reporter asked him what the best line in hockey is he answered "The buffet line"

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat His scale display is set to "Scientific notation"

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat that as a kid his classmates renamed the teeter-totter "The catapult"

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat He put the saddle in the Saddledome.

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat Cal Clutterbuck is on the IR because he got under Wellwood's skin

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat he ejaculates Mayonaise.

The saddest day of Kyle Wellwood's life is when he found out The Big Dipper didn't hold gravy #KyleWellwoodIsSoFat

#KyleWellwoodIsSoFat that in order to protect his skin from the sun he needs to apply ozone


  1. hahahahahahahahaha

    Best. Post. EVER.

  2. Thanx for the hat-tip, Jibble. It was a good day on the internets.

  3. 1) Too many folks with too little to do. LOL
    Very funny stuff!