Dumb and Dumber

Most hockey fans have heard this story by now, but if you haven't here's the gist of it: A red Wings fan snuck an octopus into Mellon arena in Pittsburgh, threw it on the ice, got kicked out, but came back in after buying another ticket. Personally this doesn't even seem like news, but it was picked up by just about every hockey outlet. The Detroit Free Press, Deadspin, NHL Fanhouse, and the Puck Daddy all did a story/post about it and here I am giving the kid more attention than he deserves. The Detroit Free Press, and Red Wings fans, are praising the guy along with others.

Excuse me if I don't see the kid as the second coming of Moriarty. This show of defiance is about of effective as protesting high gas prices by emptying a stations gas into the gutter, but still paying for it. The only thing stupider than paying for 2 tickets to one event is to actually praise the idiot who ended up doing it. It's shrewd economics like that that have made Detroit, and Cleveland (where the kid is from), the bastions of economics that they are.

Many people will think this is anti-Red Wings, and it's not. I love their tradition of octopus on the ice because it's what every fan tradition should be. It's spontaneous, it irritates other teams fans, it's fun, and it's unique. It's really a perfect tradition. I understand Red Wings fans will go to any length to preserve that tradition, but simply buying another ticket is really the easy way out right? It's really unimpressive (especially for a 19-year old kid. The chances his parents money somehow contributed to this are at about 85%). Here's what would have impressed me:
  • sneaking in before the game and attaching the octopus to the rafters, with a remote to cut the cord after the anthem.
  • getting two other fans to get into a fight and in the distraction throwing it on the ice undetected.
  • dressing up in Pittsburgh gear, sitting next to another Wings fan, throwing the octopus on the ice and getting him kicked out.
  • flat out sneaking into the arena after getting tossed
All those are way more extreme than simply buying another ticket. Now if you absolutely have to use money to accomplish the goal, both these alternatives are unquestionably more rebellious than buying another ticket:
  • go to a different section, toss the octopus and bribe the usher to not throw you out.
  • bribe a kid, bonus points if it's a Pens fan, to throw the octopus on the ice. (kids are not likely to be thrown out).
  • simply bribing a ticket taker to let you back in.
Addendum: I nearly added this sentence to the first paragraph :
I'm surprised ESPN didn't do a full length feature on it because it's exactly the kind of fluffy sports non-news that they like to focus on.

But I decided against adding this sentence because I couldn't find the story on their site and thought "Maybe I shouldn't bash ESPN unnecessarily". In further proof that Life resembles an Star Wars:
Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don't think. Trust your instincts.

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