Total Fucking Morons

I try to keep the bitching about writing to a minimum here, so I really didn't want to write about another article so soon after skewering one, but when something so vilely disgusting and extraordinarily moronic is written, I feel the need to point it out. I am sure it's better if I just let it fade away and drowned in it's own miserable ignorance, but this may be the worst piece of elephant shit EVER written for a newspaper. Read the piece and you'll know I'm not talking in hyperbole. I mean unless he let a member of the "violently retarded, doped up on acid after 24 hours of waterboarding at Guantanamo bay society" (or VRDUOAATFHOWAGBS for short) write this piece of bloated roadkill carcass filled with maggots after three muggy summer days there's really no excuse for the gross level of imbecility that can be covered by this. This is the kind of crap that passes for intelligent at newspapers these days? Really? If Newsmen want to know why "their medium is dying" it's because they let opinions like this cover their pages.

The real question is, Does this man really believe the festering puss-filled rotting corpse of an article that he wrote? Either he does believe it, in which case he's about as smart as a frequently concussed opossum after three nights in a nuclear reactor. The other possibility is that he doesn't believe what he wrote, which makes him the about as respectable as the unification of emerald ale, whiskey, chewing gum, and vomit on the bottom of my shoe after a night at O'Leary's on St. Patty's Day.

And I'm sure he's to high and fucking mighty to slum it up in the blogs, but if he actually gets wind of this here's a little medical lesson for the dipshit. Three broken vertebrae in Steve Moore's neck certainly qualifies as both "near-fatal" and "broken neck". So Pierre LaCroix was right you fucking numbskull. It wasn't
...just another bad hockey hit shown on sports shows the day after and again when the suspension is announced.
. Umm no, the guy broke three vertebrae in his fucking neck. Last time I checked that's pretty fucking rare in hockey. Unprecedentedly rare.

Who has ever had a press conference to announce a fourth liner had suffered an injury? With not the least evidence to suggest that the minor damage in Moore's neck was even caused by the hit, Lacroix takes the offensive publicly to make sure Bertuzzi gets suspended by the league, something that was going to happen in any case.

You know who, the Buffalo Bills had that press conference after Kevin Everett broke his neck. The Florida Panthers had that press conference after Richard Zednik nearly blead to death in front of a live audience. You know why, because those are fucking catastrophic injuries you moron. Steve Moore had a catastrophic injury that your passing off as a god damned paper-cut. Do you know Kevin Hench? I should hook you two up, then you can sit around your hallucinogenic TV sets and recall how Lou Gehrig was a pussy, and Joe Theisman should have just rubbed some dirt on it.

And another thing- No evidence? Seriously? How about "He was fucking skating before Bertuzzi hit him, and then after that he head to be taken off on a god damned stretcher because he couldn't fucking move without risking his life"? That's not enough evidence for you? Maybe he made an announcement for the same reason those other organizations had an announcement. Because he wanted to give all the people who actually worried about the incident (you know humans who actually care about another's well-being) an update to let them know how serious it was.

But congrats Tom Tony Gallagher, who gets the first ever "Total fucking moron" tag, god knows he's earned it.


  1. Remind me to never piss you off.

  2. I just went back to that article (saw it last night and said "Fuck this, I'm going to bed") and some of the anti-Gallagher comments have miraculously disappeared. In their place are a lot of people agreeing with him.

    I wish I'd taken a screen cap of the page before hitting the sack b/c it's a whole different picture there this morning.

  3. I am really a pretty laid back guy, and don't get too pissed off very often, even though I may exaggerate from time to time here.

    But crap like this just sets me off.

  4. No worries my comments will not be disappearing.

  5. Awesome, I had a comment there pretty much saying this crap has ruined any credibility I saw in The Province(I WAS a subscriber, I canceled it the day I read this).

    They really should have a large apology for this, after throwing Tony's retarded ass out the window, I never did like him.

    Too bad I hadn't saved it, I could have posted it here.

    PS. How can anyone think Moore only had a headache? Not to mention the crap about how faked his injury so he would get payed without playing.

    PPS. It's awesome living in Vancouver, being an Avs fan. I feel like I'm the only one cheering for the Avs in the upper section when they score :)

  6. Welcome to the site Draken. I live in SJ so I know all about being the enemy fan, even if the hatred isn't quite as intense (Even though with a SJ-Avs first round series looming it could pick up)

    And Saying Steve Moore had a headache is kind of like saying the incredible Hulk has a bit of a temper

  7. PS.

    Any epic rants for this particular article are welcomed, and encouraged, in the comments here.

  8. I've talked to a few of my friends, all of whom are Nucks fans, and they all agree that Tony's whacked out of his head.
    One even said he should get punched the same way and see if Tony only has a headache.

  9. Okay you should really read the comments some of these guys are really a bunch of FUCKING MORONS, excuse my french

  10. Wheres dater when we need him, he should go over there and set this guy and the commenters (i hope thats a word) straight

  11. Well I don't think Dater will write about other writers, but it's possible.

    He may just come through and blast the guy though, which would be nice to see. I think there's some sort of journalist ettiquette that would be broken though.

    And yes official newspaper commenters are dumber than dirt.

  12. No, I just read Dater's book, and he said he will not attack other memebers of the press again.

    I agree with you. What a fucking moron. I even asked my mom who is a veternarian and she said that three cracked vertebrae definitely counts as a broken neck, and that's a injury so serious that she would probably put the animal down if she had to treat one in that condition.

    Who the fuck hires these people? More fucktards? Have they no fucking respect for this poor dude who will never play hockey again, and who will probably suffer ill effects from this incident for the rest of his life? You can't fake shit like that, and I don't know why anyone would try. Sitting through these court proceedings and rehabbing isn't exactly fun, but that guy doesn't seem to realize that. Clearly he's never tried to rehab himself from an injury that he has been told he will never fully recover from. It's not fun. What a fucktard.

  13. Hey,

    I often read the avs blogosphere and you're blog is on the first set of favourites.
    I never respond cus I live in Holland and hardly ever get to watch an actual Avs game.

    But this?

    Tony, eat shit and die!

    (When a physics student stops his studying to tell you that, you know it's your time to just lay down on the road and wait for that one drunken driver who sees you too late)


  14. Thanks for taking the time to respond Tom...

    And as a former Physics student myself I know that taking time to do anything is taxing.

  15. Is that because physics textbooks are so big they slow you down? Or does something about the study of physics AFFECT the physics of the energy spent in the study of physics?

    Wait, I think I confused myself...

  16. Physics physically slows you down, at least in the social way (every form of communication gets difficult after 2 hours of number crunching)

    Plus I have 6 exams this week (did 2 already) and I should really be studying my brains out.

    I just really can't believe how this Tony fellow can be such a dick!
    I hate to be rude, but how dare you question Lacroix's integrity when he's simply trying to inform the fans. I'm sure he was just as beat up about the incident as us fans, if not more!

    I hope he gets disgracefully fired and will never write again!
    It makes me feel dirty and sick to my stomach.
    I'll leave out all the general Americans bashing, as us Dutchies are laying low now too, cus we have an idiot in Parlement (Mr. Wilders).

  17. @tom:

    That and this is a place for arguing hockey, not politics ;)

  18. 1) His article should have been written April 1st. Its so full of lies, inaccuracies, distortions, prevarications, etc. etc. LOL
    2) Love the post title! May have to use it some day. LOL

  19. This can be a recurring theme, Jibble. Once a week the Total Fuckin Moron award. keep up the good work.