Beige Wings Shrink needed

"You see shrink, I have very confusing and awkward feelings towards the Beige Wings. for the last 11 years or so I have hated them, as they have been an entirely hateable team. The Coward McCarty, "Picasso" Draper, washed up Cicarelli and their fans, well there's no denying their fans are far and away the most insufferable in the league. I know I am biased, but even an impartial Sharks season-ticket holder, one who doesn't hate anyone, hates Beige Wings fans. He says they are the most rude, obnoxious, narcissistic, and really not very bright fans on the planet. This isn't from a biased Avs fan mind you, but a Sharks season ticket holder who went into hockey with no bias.

Now? I just don't know how to feel about the Beige Wings. I mean clearly they still generate some hatred, vile and bile. The "Red Wings sucks" chants at the Pepsi center clearly demonstrated they aren't just another team like the Kings or Hurricanes. But at the same time, they aren't the same level of evil they used to be. On the Altitude broadcast the other night they said only 4 players remain from the heyday of hatred. Lidstrom, Sakic, Draper, and Hasek. The only really hateable one, on either side of that 4-some, is Hasek. And that's just because he's a whiney, flopping, cheap shot bitch. But the Beige Wings as a whole aren't. In fact there's a reason I call them the Beige wings. They went from one of the most evil and despicable franchises to just being one I, and I feel other Avs fans, hate out of habit. Hell I call them the Beige Wings because, outside Chelios and Hasek, that red club has no discernible personality.

I mean there were 8 penalty minutes tonight between these two clubs. Sure Altitude kept trying to work up the rivalry, playing old clips and such, but really it was fun to watch the clips but you could tell the feeling wasn't there anymore.

Sure I still hate Beige wings fans. Mainly because there are 3 types of Beige wings fans in Denver.

  1. Those who grew up in Detroit/Michigan and followed the Beige Wings for their whole life. Really I can't hate them, they didn't have a chance. They were brainwashed from a young age.
  2. Those who didn't have a hometown team to pick up on and regrettably fell upon the Beige Wings. Let's face it, they had a lot to like. They were good, they had a brilliant and entirely honorable captain in Steve Yzerman, and I could see how a young impressionable mind could fall into the trance a Sergei Federov deke and even continue to watch in awe as Nikolas Lidstrom just quietly dominates the ice. I mean there's a sucker born every minute right? And if there were no trude guiding Avalanche to show the way, the Beige Wings could trick some poor susceptible fools into thinking they are the righteous team, I can really understand that.
These are the two acceptable Beige Wings fans, it's like a 2-year old who cusses, they don't know any better... But then there are these assholes who really ruin it (and yes I am well aware there are some who follow the Avs as well)
  1. The Asshole local who wants to be "edgey, hip and rebellious" by selecting the very good, but hated rival of the home team. These guys are assholes and can go to hell. I grew up in a city where we had a hated rival in football, the Oakland Raiders, and it would be no surprise to me that fans of the Raiders, in Denver only, would also be fans of the Red Wings. When I lived in Columbus, OH we called these people "Michigan Fans."
These people are the worst because not only are they incredibly boring and uncreative, but they are obnoxious and rabble-rousers as well. They aren't really cheering for the Red Wings or Raiders (or in Oakland and Detroit, the Avs or Broncos) but they are cheering against the home team, and they want you to know it. These are the people who stand up and scream "Yeah You Avs Suck" at every puck clearance or missed pass. You can find these Assholes in every city, cheering for the Red Wings in Denver, the Cowboys in Philly, the Giants in Los Angeles, the Devils in New York, or cheering for the Red Sox anywhere outside New England. That's why feint "Let's go Red Wing's" chants could be heard for small periods tonight. Real fans, the ones who grew up in Michigan, know better than to be loud and obnoxious in an opposing teams building. Only an idiot who feels he's in the comfort's of home would be stupid enough to try another chant in an opposing teams building.

Yet I digress. As the Avs missed the playoffs, and players moved on, the rivalry has faded. Not so amazingly the number of fans in the third category has decreased (and watch it plummet if the Red Wings ever miss the playoffs). The point being that even the fans are slightly less aggravating . Sure there's still the occasional Red Wing know-it-all that feels because you have only had your hockey club for 11 years that somehow you are an inferior fan, but they are pretty harmless.

So until these two clubs meet in the playoffs, I will still hate the Beige Wings, but really it's not the same.

Thanks for listening Doc"


  1. FYI: Yes I know I labeled them 1,2,1 I didn't know how to put a break in between the Blogger number labelers, and wanted to actually have a small paragraph there, so no i'm not dumb, but slightly inept at Blogger and HTML... forgive me

  2. I agree wholeheartedly about fan #3. Those idiots that stood up and cheered after the game-winning goal and were pointing at friends wearing Avs jerseys. That USED to lead to an old-school beatdown in the parking lot in the old NHL. Just another example of Gary Bettman ruining the game for everybody.

  3. Hi Jibblescribbits -

    We have plenty of number 3, but I have also found, at least in my market, the brainwashed Red Wings fans who only come out to two games in a year, because well...the home team sucks.

    They forget the 1980s where the Red Wings were a shell of the team they are today. Until this guy Yzerman showed up to resurrect the team.

    Being a tourist destination, we have fans from several franchises see their teams in our market. The true fans cheer for their team when they win and not deride the home team's fans when doing so.

    The Red Wings fans have a large compliment of the worst fans in hockey.

    I have no issues with the team - without the history between your two franchises, they are just incredible to watch. The fans just drive me nuts. When the Red Wings rumble into town, I won't go unless I am properly medicated.